What up ladies? Yeah after some begging from Scrivs I’m back on the scene to get this site jumpstarted. I see we brought another pimp onboard and after reading his first real entry it seems Scrivs has a good choice in men, but we all knew that before right?

But back to me and this site. I figured if we are going to call it A Man’s View we need to have more than just words on this thing, we need some pictures as well. So to steal a concept Scrivs started over at DIC I am going to be doing the Hottie of the Day (HotD) and wait till you see who the first entry is.

Don’t get it twisted or anything. I don’t do this for you or for the site, but for my own pleasure. It’s much easier using Scrivs’ hosting and bandwidth then it is to keep all these pics on my computer. But I do like to share so you need to be thankful.

Holla.

The first interview involves Stormy, a wholesome (*snicker) gal from Louisiana who waxes poetic on the joys of loving both men and women. This interview was conducted in 2003.

My dad is going to kill me when he reads this, but the greatest sex education I ever received was sneaking into his dresser and reading his porn. I won’t go into what happened when I discovered the treasured video porn stash, but to say that you can’t learn anything educational from porn and adult stars is ridiculous. So to help out all of mankind I have decided to start a series of Adult Star interviews where hopefully you can learn a thing or two from these professionals.

It can be kind of weird watching them speak like a civilian and then 2 minutes later you pop in a DVD with them in it not acting very civilian at all. In any case sit back and get ready to be educated by women you will never have sex with and make more money in a week than you do in a decade.

Also I spoke with Fireman and he should be returning soon. Starfisher is on lockdown right now so his stories don’t hold much weight.

No, I’m not talking about that one; the other one that comes after that. Let’s say for instance that you were to go back to some random girls house for whatever reason (place your and her favorite alcoholic beverages here) and after getting it on and sleeping the buzz off you feel the need to bail. Why would you want to bail? Maybe she’s only pretty when you’re drunk or maybe just perhaps you’re just a total asshole and never want to see this girl again (nothing wrong with that). No matter what the cause, you need to escape and get away.

Here is the problem, you went back to her place and she drove. Now we have got a bit of a sticky situation. If getting dressed and slipping out an unfamiliar door (creeks and squeaks can kill this, carry WD-40 at all times) wasn’t a big enough challenge, now you are faced with the task of getting back to your place.

Fear not, I have developed a couple of backup plans that work beautifully. Make sure you have plenty of friends you can call (or preferably text message, which creates less noise) and will be willing to bail you out. I suggest that you befriend a female who is a cold-hearted bitch because her last boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend. Those are the girls who will be on your side; she’s suffered now she likes to see other females suffer. She will be the one who will always come and pick you up, laugh and say “Another one, huh? How many is that this month?”

In the instance that you cannot find a friend to come and pick you up make sure you have the numbers of at least three Taxi services listed in your cell phone. Know their locations and the location of the girls’ place and if applicable make note of which services have the tendency to speed the most. This is all vital information, sneak out the front door to make the call grabbing the street name and the address.

Now here’s the tricky part, if the ho girl catches you outside talking on the phone you need to be creative. Make it seem like you were tending to her needs by stating, “I had an important call and I didn’t want to wake you up by talking too loud.” When she asks why you’re leaving, it is because “you’re mother called you to tell you that dear aunt (insert name here) just went to the hospital and they’re not sure how long she is going to make it.” Hell, if you play this card right, depending on whether or not you have completed the call to the cab service, you might get a free ride out of this one.

These have been solid performers for me. I am sure there’s a plethora of other well planned techniques as well, which I am always open to hearing. The key is to make sure to always have a plan. You need to become a great escape artist just as Houdini was, so you too can get yourself out of frightening and awful situations as the ones described above.

What happens when you put the world’s sexiest supermodel into a million dollar bikini? You get the world’s sexiest supermodel in a million dollar bikini obviously. The question you have to ask though is which one would you take? I would have to go with the bikini because Heidi is married to Seal and although I breakup homes of normal people all the time I try to avoid doing so with supermodels.

That’s just not my style.

Our sister site, Damn I’m Cute, has a hilarious video of a cameraman who can’t seem to keep his eyes off of Klum’s cameltoe. Also be sure to checkout the Heidi Klum photo gallery.

Whoa! What in the hell is Scrivs doing on this site? Well I will be taking over the site so to speak since my two jerkoff buddies are incapable of doing anything on their own. Will you see Fireman and Starfisher again? Of course you will because I’m not buying them anymore drinks until they fulfill their duties.

Today I am here to introduce a new A Man’s View to you. What’s in store? Pretty much stuff every guy likes or is too scared to admit he likes and basically everything that wives and girlfriends don’t want you reading about or viewing. I also have brought on someone very special on board, but I will let him introduce himself when he decides to come out (of the closet).

So yeah, that’s all for this entry. A new Fine Fools means a new AMV. Let’s do this.

Before we had the idea for this site we went over our gameplan with Scrivs and he knew that if we executed it we would do well. We got a very pissed email from the Godfather last week and he wasn’t too pleased because we weren’t executing said gameplan, but we told him that how could we create a killer site if we had such a lame ass design? Seriously if you want to write a man’s thoughts you need man’s site behind it.

Well I guess Scrivs and Mike Rundle got off their lazy asses and have given us what we wanted and what we felt we always deserved. We also grew tired of seeing those stupid Public Service Announcement ads by Google because we don’t get paid for that type of shit. Yeah I know, you should blog for the passion of it and let me tell you that my passion is money and women. They go hand in hand and Public Service Announcements do absolutely nothing for those passions.

Honestly, could you see me going to a woman at a bar and saying:

Baby, go checkout my website. Nah, I’m not a geek, I just need a place to vent my thoughts to the world because I’m sure you know that it can be difficult to find that right person to sit down with and share a deep, intellectually conversation. Oh and by the way, ignore those PSAs.

So we bitched some more at Scrivs and he agreed to get AdultFriendFinder in on the action and is even considering getting us an account there so we can see how easy the sex is through them. Unfortunately, he thought it would be pretty damn funny to put the big mama ad on the site instead of the sexy white chick. And why in the hell does the big chick have to be black? I guess big black chicks are sexier than big white chicks. Actually now that I think about it they kind of are. Weird.

Anyways, what I was trying to say is that if you are one of the 20 people that read this site and have liked what you see so far then trust me you will like it even more in the upcoming weeks. For now get sucked into the Man’s Design.

I was talking to Starfisher the other day about a dilemma that I am wondering if all men encounter. See I know what love is because I have been it before. When you are in love, that person is the only person it seems, but what if that isn’t true. Have you ever dated someone and saw another person and thought you just might drop everything if that person got naked and suggested you get with it?

Don’t get me wrong, I am all about being loyal and that type of shit, but what happens if that lead singer from the Pussycat Dolls comes knocking on your door in a nurse outfit? You supposed to turn her away? Tough decisions. Hell it might be even tougher if you have been with the woman for a long time, same cereal everyday type of shit if you catch my drift.

So does this only apply to me? Does it only apply to men? Love is great, but dammit if having sex with J. Lo wouldn’t be great as well. Oh, here is a better scenario. What if you are dating Meme from girlspoke and Lexie comes knocking on your door because she sees how wonderful you are with Meme and figures you must be doing something right. Do you upgrade? Damn, okay “upgrade” sounds harsh. Forget it, I will go crawl back into my grave that I continue to dig for myself.

Tyme wonders why she even bothers reading sites like this one because she can’t relate to it. Well she isn’t supposed to relate to it, but she is supposed to soak in the information because we say invaluable stuff. What about Cosmo you may ask? Woman writing about men and woman are supposed to think that shit works? Come on now. This site is the new Cosmo…well okay maybe not, but at least you know you are getting into the mind of a man.

Now after reading Geek Girl Woes I am really left speechless, not because Tyme is making herself out to seem like the perfect woman, but because she just needs to man up and tell her boyfriend how it is.

Crap, he wants attention. Sigh…what are my options? Quickest thing…feed him, sex him up, tuck him in and he’s out for the night. Or I could go the route he thinks I want to go…dinner (maybe go out) where he has to cater to my every need and in return he’ll get sexed up, tuck him in and he’s out for the night. Well, this level is pretty challenging (or whatever I’m doing) so why beat around the bush? Option #1 it is. So I hook him up with something to eat. Satisfy every sexual need and patiently wait until he passes out. Jump out of the bed, a quick shower and I’m good to go…back to what I’m doing. Several hours pass…I finish what I was doing – he’s none the wiser.

Hell, save me the trouble of having to take you out. I’ll go hit up Taco Bell grab some food and let you play your games. When it’s time for some sexing we can do it up for the 5 minutes that I will need and you can get back to your games. In fact, I will even come over and play with you so I can kick your ass. But Tyme doesn’t let the man know these things, she does what almost all men do: make assumptions. And you know assumptions do nothing but our dumbasses in trouble.

Women like to play these head games where we are supposed to know what they want. I hate that shit. If you want something and we don’t get it right away then just tell us. As time goes on you will only go frustrated and we will only get pissed off. I know, I know, you want us to be able to “understand” you and know what you want, but that’s just not always possible. Sometimes we leave our “what the hell is this woman thinking” glasses at home and therefore don’t know what’s going on so you need to help us out.

Now see ladies, men get called out and yelled at when they say what they want. Games are fun when you are flirting, but there are times when games become pointless. If I want sex, I might drop one hint and then just flatout say it. Now it isn’t like this all the time, but if I want sex I’m just going to tell you. If I was hungry do you think I would drop hints that I was hungry? Hell no! I’m letting it be known that I want some food.

So being cool and showing everyone how cool you are isn’t really cool when your man doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.

Being a part of this network has its advantages and disadvantages. The biggest disadvantage is looking at the stats across all the sites and realizing we get the lowest amount of traffic overall. Even though we are one of the new kids on the block we find this unacceptable, but we also use it as a means to refresh the stats page every 30 seconds. So when I saw Scrivs asking our thoughts on virgins I knew I should jump on it quickly.

I have had sex with only one virgin in my life and fortunately (or unfortunately) I was a virgin as well at the time. I know a lot of men have this fantasy of having sex with a virgin and I have no idea why. It really can’t be fun. Depending on the size of your package you might spend the whole night helping her “adjust” and that means you won’t be doing a damn thing but taking it slow and seeing how fast you can finish while walking backwards.

Does it matter how many partners a woman has had? Well for me it depends on the circumstances and what follows.

• You can have sex with 25 guys as long as you don’t have a disease.
• You can have sex with 25 guys as long as they weren’t paying for it.
• You can have sex with 25 guys if you are over the age of 21.

It’s hard for me to classify women as whores who have had sex with X amount of people. The number doesn’t make you a slut, but why and how you got to that number might. I like women who know what they want in bed, not one who is just trying to figure it out. The women who know what they want are the fun ones because they take control in their own ways. They don’t just lay there looking up at you expecting you to bring them to an orgasm and change their oil. Hell no. Real women think to themselves, okay it’s my turn to get off.

So would I have sex with a virgin? Not if she told me straight up she was. I do believe that first time should be special in some kind of way and I know I am probably not the guy to make it special for you unless you are sticking with me for life. Of course finding a virgin around my age might worry me a bit about that person’s lifestyle. I mean Mormons are cool and everything, but…